Observing is what I do best. I am not the best speaker, if given a deadline I can plan a speech that sounds magnificent that makes the heart ache and tears roll down a person’s face. Sadly however, I need time to create those kind of speeches on a normal day all I can do is think form words over and over again my head waiting for the prefect creation. By the time they form the discussion moves onto the next topic, and like that everyday I lose my chance at saying what I want to say.
Instead I choose to observe, I look at my surroundings and the people around me as well, I listen to what they have to stay. It is strange now that I think about it, looking at people’s facial expressions to determine what is running through their heads, whether or not they are uncomfortable.
Though that’s all I’ve ever been able to do, observe, slowly shrinking into the shadows of what we call life.
So, I have always been interested in people and the way they function. When I was younger, I wanted to know how and why different people acted in distinct ways. I wanted to know why some people were always sad, why others were always doing something destructive, just why. I began watching documentaries at a really young age on other countries and their societies. At that time I just wanted to know why the African society and culture was so different from the American one.
I did not get into the world of psychology until middle school, I loved it. I loved psychology, I was able to understand how at times our brain was the only one in charge of our actions. And that for some people, there is no balance for rational or irrational thought processes. I was able to understand different experiences have a different impact on a person’s mental health. Granted, I have not taken a psychology course yet, but I have researched things like: Schizophrenia, Depression, PTSD, and many phobias. Lately I have been watching Maya Imani-Amani on Youtube, a young adult who makes videos describing her mental illness: Schizophrenia, that was a result of a childhood trauma. While watching her videos and having the beginner knowledge on mental illnesses that I have, I feel like sh*t when people make fun of mental illnesses or use the medical terms lightly. People with mental illnesses actually go through a lot. And I want to learn more, I now have a hunger to understand what I never had before. I don’t really know the point of this post, but to say how fascinating I find psychology considering the fact in my house hold and in my culture mental health is always overlooked.
– Misiika, feeling intrigued. Thank you for reading, leave a comment on what you think!